Been busy over Christmas.
Got a decent pump fitted at last, so I'm at least ready to start getting the car running as it should.
The flash on my iphone has single handedly reduced the whole car to a pile of rust! I swear its not anywhere near as bad as it looks.
I also pulled the plugs, really to give me an idea as to what was happening inside. I think the colours reflect the issue I've got, namely the stub ended fuel rail.

The fuel runs from bottom left, top left, then across the engine to top right, then ends with the bottom right plug. That plug really is white, it's definitely not grey or tan. I think, but feel free to add your thoughts, that the last cylinder in the fuel line is running lean under boost.... hence the detonation. But I'm hitting the collective AFRs... due to the other 3 cylinders.
The fuel line between the rails did arc along the top of the fan shroud, but I've managed to remove a foot out of it by running it directly between the rails. I noticed an immediate improvement with when detonation occurs and its begining to look like detonation occurs at so many seconds after I start boosting rater than where it starts. I'm hopeing then that this points to the fuel line 'running out of fuel' due to the way it runs to a dead end.... as a few of you have already pointed out
So... got a decent pump... and more importantly, got an FSE adjustable fuel pressure regulator on its way via ebay, so I'll be binning my BMW regulator and heading down the traditional looped route very shortly.
Guess BMWs don't like 6 foot fuel rails.
Oh and got that plug made up Dan, works fine, but I haven't found a big enough tap yet..